May 10, 2012

• Branding Ironies

  

  “Pink slime” might accidentally become the most effective anti-brand in marketing history. It was coined in a 2002 private email by US Department of Agriculture (USDA) scientist Gerald Zirnstein to describe lean finely textured beef (LFTB). That stuff represents about two percent of cattle carcass yield that would otherwise be wasted or made into dog food. Zirnstein’s term remained obscure until Jamie Oliver mentioned it on a TV show last April. Over a million people watched the You Tube version and outrage spread virally. Recently McDonalds, Burger King and Taco Bell all promised to quit using LFTB, the USDA reversed itself to allow school districts to quit using it, and supermarkets panicked into banning it. Iowa’s governor intervened to pressure supermarkets into labeling, rather than banning it. (Zirnstein, now unemployed, only advocated labeling.)

  This week, IBI closed three plants including one in Waterloo, citing the pink slime controversy for slowdowns that will cost 650 workers their jobs. This is a case of good intentions gone amok. LFTB is safe to eat, much safer than the rest of the burger we ingest and which is responsible for a third of all e coli infections that land folks in the hospital in America. It also helps use the whole animal meaning that 3 percent fewer cows have to die to feed America’s burger itch. A good share of the blame for losing a battle that should have been won goes to the marketers in charge of promoting beef.

  Iowa Beef Industry Council (IBC) represents 3,850,000 cows and 30,000 cattle operations in Iowa with “education, promotion and research.” Figuring they would be deployed for combat, I checked out their web page last week. Their strategy appeared to be diversionary. There was not a word about LFTB but lots about a national award for the Iowa livestock auction market and IBC’s “Best Burger” contest. Since burger is where most LFTB ends up, I decided to see if IBC was doing a better job evaluating burgers than naming products like LFTB, or defending them.

  Three Des Moines area restaurants – Drake Diner, Ankeny Diner, and Rosco’s in Norwalk – joined Coon Bowl III in Coon Rapids, Farmer’s Kitchen in Atlantic, My Tighe’s in Grand Junction, Rube’s Steakhouse in Montour, Sac City Bowling Center, PerXactly’s in Maquoketa, and The Ritz in Arnolds Park as “Best Burger” finalists. Farmer’s Kitchen is a legendary mom & son café that offers wagyu (Kobe) burgers. Figuring they set a high standard, I excitedly headed to Rosco’s, a cross between a family café and a steakhouse.

  I always request burgers cooked “medium with a good sear.” My favorite burger makers

  

   (Alba, Zombie, Gateway, Django) have perfected the art of searing which creates a crust filled with multiple flavors created by the binding of amino acids at high heat. Searing is not charring, which produces only the flavor of carbon.

  

  Rosco’s half pound burger, shaped perfectly round, was charred to the point that my first bite dripped blackening agents into a side of heavily liquid cole slaw. My bun was buttered and toasted nicely but served with industrial pickles and ice berg lettuce.

  

  Ankeny Diner occupies a crossroads of American fast food opportunities – nine other restaurants within two lots of the corner of First & Delaware. Its design and menu revealed that it’s a clone of Drake Diner. Its ambiance was overwhelmed by the aroma of chlorine. My half pound burger was irregularly shaped, a good sign it was hand packed. It had as decent a sear as one can achieve on an open grill but was overcooked and dry.

  

  Its bun was neither buttered nor toasted but lettuce was fresher than at Rosco’s. A good side salad was an upgrade over sorry slaw. In retrospect though, I pined for their hot beef special, at half the price of my burger ($9).

  Figuring that Drake Diner would be duplicative, I visited Tally’s to try their touted half pound 50-50 burger, an even mix of pork belly and beef. Tally’s achieved by far the best sear of the three places I tried and that’s harder to do with pork involved.

  

  Their burger was smartly served with sweet pickles that complemented the slightly sour flavor of the mixed meats. Their bun was fresh and interesting. Though I prefer Tally’s all beef grind, theirs was my best burger experience of the week. It also included the best side dish option – a divine lobster bisque.

  Tally’s

  2712 Beaver Ave. 279 2067

  Mon. – Sat. 11 a.m. – close, Sun. 9 a.m. – 2 p.m.

  Side Dishes

  Wendy’s announced it had never used LFTB and also moved ahead of Burger King to become the second largest fast food chain.

  • 1:31 pm
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