The Year of Pilfering
For industrial fast food, the recently concluded fiscal year was one to forget — unless you’re McDonalds (McD). That company’s stock hit a five-year high and completely outperformed an industry that saw most stocks plunge to five-year lows. McD positioned itself to prosper in a bad economy by cutting back on expansion five years before the rest of the industry and by promoting dollar menus faster and more aggressively. In May, McD rolled out its biggest menu expansion in three decades with McCafe coffee drinks. When I visited on a Monday this month, mochas were free. With regular prices discounted compared to Starbucks, McD was going after the high-end coffee drinker who has cut back to save money.
That’s sounds like kicking a competitor when he’s down, but Starbucks actually had a good fiscal year. Its stock was up 50 percent from a year ago and 100 percent from last November. Their business bounced back after advertising as a high quality, affordable luxury. I found some justification for that: fresh blueberries had replaced artificial ingredients in muffins and bars; high fructose corn syrup had been removed from their Marshmallow Dream bars. Neither tasted fresh, but their espresso was better than two years ago when I last visited.
Elsewhere, $5 was the new $1. Subway (Sub) led the way with a wildly successful “Five dollar foot long” jingo that inspired copycats. I saw $5 specials aggressively advertised at Quizno’s (Q), Dominos, Pizza Hut, KFC, Arby’s and Taco Bell. I tried $2 Sammies, $3 bullets, $4 torpedoes and $5 subs at Q and compared them to Sub’s footlongs.
Q’s toasting method was superior, but Sub’s breads were more consistently fresh. The flatbread on a Sammie at Q was the most interesting of all though. At KFC, a huge sign promoted a “$5 special,” which pictured food that cost considerably more than $5. Still, KFC’s grilled chicken was the best new product I found all month. Though overly salty, it was juicier than a rotisserie chicken from Dahl’s or a smoked chicken from KC BBQ, an independent fast food joint that survived a fire and changed ownership contentiously during the last year.
Their smoked pork and ribs were better than their chickens, and all were priced much lower than other barbecues in town.
Burger King (BK) has been my favorite chain for years — to write about. Their marketing has shown time and again that fast food customers are hard to offend. In the last year, one BK commercial equated meat eating to bestiality and another launched a “Whopper Virgins” campaign.
Think what you like, BK has a genius for reinventing the wheel. This year, their corporate symbol, a queen-like King, launched 1.) Flame, a body spray for men that smells like fast food burgers and 2.) “Burger Shots.” Mine amounted to the same burger as BK’s Whopper, double Whopper, triple Whopper, junior Whopper, regular cheeseburger and double cheeseburger. Only BK would call it something new — and then sue Steak & Shake for calling their slider-sized burgers “shots.”
Domino’s yard signs advertised $5 specials, but I was drawn to their $6 pasta in bread bowls.
The worst thing I tasted all month, they were so new that calorie and carbohydrate information was unavailable at press time. I did learn that one “cheese” in their Three Cheese Mac-N-Cheese bread bowl contained 49 different ingredients — most tasted like sodium. The salty bread bowl made me think fondly of Subway’s buns.
Finally, I tried new “Buffalo Wing” chicken products at Pizza Hut and Wendy’s. The industry has targeted this favorite food of casual sit down diners in an effort to pilfer customers during a recession. Every sauce I sampled tasted cloyingly saccharine, but the actual meat in Wendy’s “sweet & spicy Asian chicken” tasted like it was from real muscle, not a processed product.
Part 2
The first part of our local fast food review included an analysis of a duel between Quizno’s and Subway. Several folks complained it ignored smaller chains, with more local roots, that also compete for your submarine sandwich business. Hungry Boyz (HB) is a central Iowa renegade from the Hungry Hobo brand. At their new store in Normandy Plaza, I found their prices more competitive with the big boys than their product. Instead of toasting or grilling their hot sandwiches, they used microwaves — even to cook hot dogs. Their lunchmeats were unimpressive, and although their breads had been “baked fresh daily,” they lacked the diversity I found at Quizno’s and Subway. HB had a larger than usual selection of nachos, desserts and salads.
Planet Sub fans claimed that Kansas-based chain offers superior options for vegetarians. After consuming more than one tempeh (fermented soy bean cake) sandwich, custom made with two kinds of pesto, red peppers and jalapenos, I heartily agree. Health benefits of fermented soy have been touted lately, particularly reduced risks of breast cancer. However, food scientist Mark Messina, who recently spoke to a group of national food writers, debunked the added advantages of fermented soy as “Internet rumors” while also admitting that fermented and non-fermented soy products (tofu) had not been tested separately. Planet Sub’s tempeh had more complex flavors than most tofu, so I’d like to believe the “Internet rumors.” I also found that while Planet Sub chooses not to compete with Quizno’s and Subway on price, they make sandwiches with considerably more ingredients packed between their bread. Planet Sub’s whole wheat breads were multi-flavored delights, too.
Fans of Taco Casa, including some top local chefs, let me know I’d overlooked a “fast food gem” on Euclid, which operates under a Kansas umbrella but is most famous in Texas. They were right. I found an intriguing joint that serves basic Tex Mex fast food centered on crispy shell tacos with either chicken or ground beef. Taco Casa’s edge over Taco Bell and Taco Johns begins with its repertoire of homemade salsas — two reds, two greens, a brown, a habanero and a cruda. They rank with the best anywhere.
Frijoles, also made from scratch daily, were served in an edible crispy corn shell cup. Fajitas, nachos and quesadillas, homemade guacamole, burgers, foot long coney islands (with good homemade chili) and cinnamon dessert chips added commendable variety. An indoor-outdoor covered dining area, built with faux adobe and Poblano tiles, lent distinctive ambiance. Servings were either larger or cheaper than their more famous competitors’, too. Tortillas, mostly flour, were consistently tender, making me ponder what could have happened at Long John Silver’s. That chain recently advertised a new fish taco, which delivered a nicely sized, breaded fish filet inside the toughest, chewiest flour tortilla I ever tried to eat. I returned twice to make sure something freakish had not happened the first time. It hadn’t.
On Douglas, I found the latest combatant in Des Moines’ gyros wars.
Chicago Style Gyros is the fourth café specializing in rotisserie meats and kebabs to open on Douglas in the last couple years. I met a picnic table full of fans there, including two Iraqis, an Albanian and two Bosnians. All enthusiastically claimed this place is the best of the bunch. Chicken kebabs were juicy with a sear. Beef-lamb gyros were served on an entire loaf of good pita. All meats were guaranteed Hallal.
Finally, I checked out McDonald’s first new burger in eight years — the 750-790 calorie Angus Third Pounder (ATP). This sandwich introduces red onions, bacon burgers, Swiss cheese and sautéed mushrooms to McD’s menu. Wendy’s Baconator sold a record 25 million in its first eight weeks just before McD began test marketing ATP, so I compared the two extreme sandwiches. ATP’s beef patty was dryer, and the full sandwich weighed noticeably less. The Baconator, unlike ATP, did not require choosing between bacon or tomato as toppings.
Notable
The Center for Science in the Public Interest released its annual investigation of industrial chain foods — a serving of Cheesecake Factory’s chicken and biscuits topped all entrees with 2,500 calories, or more than an entire bucket of KFC fried chicken.
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